Why Did I Ever Leave You
by The Schwa and The Umlaut
Summary: Harry feels abandoned and alone. Luna saves him right before he takes his own life. What happens when Death Eaters escape from Azkaban to seek revenge on Harry Potter? Rating has gone up for the twisted things I have in mind for upcoming chapters
1. Chapter 1

Why Did I Let You Leave?

CHAPTER ONE

**Rating Teen+ for violence in later chapters and language**

**Disclaimer I don't own any of the characters they belong to J.K. Rowling **

**Enjoy! Please tell me what you think I've been working on this for a while and suggestions to make the story more enjoyable are highly appreciated. Thank you.**

Looking back at it now it was something that I will regret for my whole life. How I let her slip through my fingers, and she'll never come back.

It started that day in the graveyard. I was visiting the graves of my parents, Lilly and James Potter. I suddenly broke down and started to weep. A year before I killed Voldemort.

Over the past year I'd ruined everything. Ginny broke up with me because she couldn't handle and didn't understand my depression. If she had really loved me wouldn't she understand me? It was all my fault, after all. Fred was dead. Lupin and Tonks were dead leaving Teddy all alone. I couldn't bear to look after him. I was his god father and I'd let his parents die. Sirius, the only father I've ever known, dead. Lavender, Mr. Lovegood, Dumbledore, Cedric, and countless others all dead and it was all my fault.

I looked at myself, even my dress robes were tattered and stained. My eyes I knew were bloodshot and had deep circles under them. A while ago I'd stopped eating and my ribs stuck out as though they would pierce my skin. My shoes were so tight that they almost completely cut off the circulation in my feet. They had holes where everything from the ground was imbedded in the cuts and they were most likely infected.

I didn't care and out of habit, I pulled out Dumbledore's old knife and started to cut my wrists. Was I trying to kill myself? I didn't know and I didn't care. If I died I'd at least escape the pain of all I'd felt in the past. My abusive uncle, Voldemort, and everything else. Slowly, I raised the knife to my throat and was about to kill myself, when someone screamed my name.

"HARRY!" the voice was filled with pure terror. She came running towards me and yanked the knife away from me. That was when I saw her, Luna Lovegood. Tears running down her eyes. "Harry what…what are you doing?"

I was too weak to respond and soon I fainted.

I woke up in a soft comfortable bed. Nervously, I glanced at the sheets. Bloodstains from my wrists and feet covered some of the linen. Looking around the room, I saw Luna passed out in a lounge chair that was pulled up next to the bed. Did she spend the whole night there.

"Luna…" I spoke gently.

She bolted up at the sound of my voice, "Harry! You're alive! I thought… I thought I'd lost you." Her cheeks were streaked with dry and fresh tears, and soon she wrapped me in a tight embrace while sobbing into my shoulder. Just as suddenly, she got up and asked, "Can you stand, you have to get cleaned up."

"I might," I replied and struggled to stand. After almost five minutes I was completely standing, but when I took a step I practically fainted. Luna was quick to grab me and hold me up. Despite her frail appearance she was quite strong and sturdy. Together, we finally made it to the bathroom. She had me sit on a stool against the wall while she drew a bath.

Her blonde hair swayed beautifully while she gathered different medications and soaps.

"Harry, I need you to take off your clothes," she said, but unlike every other awkward thing Luna said she seemed to be embarrassed by this. "You can keep your underwear on."

"Um…okay," I replied stripped down to my boxers. Then she slowly helped me slide into the tub. Tentatively, she picked up my wrist and looked at the cuts.

"Harry…how…why," she stuttered when she saw the severity of the cuts.

"Luna, it was my entire fault. I practically killed everyone…including your father."

Luna looked at me sternly through her tears and spoke, "Harry it was NEVER your fault. Don't you ever think that again. You are not responsible for anything that happened in that war except all of the live YOU SAVED!"

After that we sat in silence while she gently cleaned my wrists and cast spell after spell until almost all of the cuts vanished into scars and scabs. Soon her attention turned to my feet.

"Have you changed your shoes in over a year…at all?"

"No,"

"Why the hell not?" at this point she started to sound exasperated at the state I'd let myself fall into.

"I just didn't. Listen if you're just going to yell at me you can get the hell out of my life and leave me to die, that's what I want," I yelled, and I felt a sharp slap across my face. "Oh, so that's how it's going to be. You 'save' me to feel all heroic but can't take it when I tell you to fuck off."

"Damn it Harry! I stopped you from killing yourself, I let you sleep in my bed, and now I'm cleaning your puss filled feet. I'm not doing this to be heroic; I'm doing this because I CARE ABOUT YOU! I always have and you do not need to feel alone because I care!" she screamed and slowly her voice turned into a whisper. "I love you"

"You what?"

"I love you," she answered more confidently. "Now stop yelling so I can clean you up." After about an hour she hadn't said another word to me and had finished fixing me. I had to admit it was nice to have that shrapnel taken out of my feet.

We walked down to the living room and she propped me up on the couch and sat down next to me while encasing me in blankets. She looked so innocent and sweet. I regretted accusing her of trying to be a hero. Luna had never cared about that, she'd always been so selfless. How could I have said that to her?

"Luna," I started. "I'm sorry for yelling at you."

"It's alright Harry, I understand," she replied now regaining her classic 'Luna' composure. "When was the last time you ate? I could practically pick you up when I found you"

"I can't even remember…more than a few weeks probably," I confessed.

"You have to eat, what would you like?" she asked, obviously trying to hold her composure probably for my sake. It meant a lot to me.

"Chicken noodle soup." I answered.

"No problem, now get some sleep while I make it," she said and skipped off to the kitchen. I watched her from the couch. How could I have missed how beautiful she was? She had grown so much since the last time I saw her. She was no longer the cute little girl I had known just last year. Having graduated from Hogwarts she looked strong and determined. Eventually I drifted off to sleep until she gently shook me awake.

"Be careful it's hot," she cautioned and set the bowl of steaming soup on a T.V. tray next to the couch. I struggled a little to get up until her strong hands propped me up.

"Thanks," I said and dipped to spoon into the soup. My hands shook as I lifted the spoon to my lips and suddenly spasmed and shot to soup onto Luna.

"It's alright," she assured and then began to feed me the soup. How helpless had I become that I had to be fed. Luna must think I'm pathetic. How had I come to this? How long would she stay until she realized I was broken beyond repair?

Once the soup was finished she looked at me with her striking sapphire eyes. She opened her mouth as if she was about to say something but quickly pulled away and asked, "Is there anything else you want?"

_Yeah you_ I thought but instead I said, "Do you want to watch a movie?"

"Sure, anything you had in mind?"

"Don't laugh but do you have The Sixth Sense?"

"Definitely, it's one of my favorites," she replied and skipped off. We spent the rest of the day watching movies and laughing. Laughing. I hadn't laughed in ages. Hell, I can't even remember the last time I felt happy.

Just then I realized how close we were. Sharing a blanket, her hip pressing into mine, I looked her in the eye.

"What," she questioned.

"Nothing, it's just I never realized how…" I paused.

"Realized how what?" she dug deeper.

"How beautiful you are," I confessed.

"Thanks," she said and laid her head on my chest. "Harry?"

"Yes Luna?"

"I love you, I always have, and always will," Luna had a tear rolling down her cheek when she looked up at me.

I wiped the tear off her cheek and practically whispered, "I love you too Luna" I scooped up her face in my hands and kissed her.


	2. Chapter 2

Chapter Two

**DISCLAIMER: Rated Teen+ for violence in later chapters and language**

**I sincerely apologize for all of my grammar mistakes. I just really wanted to get this out as fast as possible. I'll try to get the next chapter out soon but I'm having a little writer's block, so please be patient with me. Thank you so much for reading this and I will take any of your suggestions to improve the story.**

**I do not own any of the characters; they all belong to J.K. Rowling**

I love Luna Lovegood. What would Ron and Hermione say to that? Ron would probably laugh, and in return Hermione would chastise him and tell me she supported my decision whole-heartedly. I laughed at that thought. God, I missed them. I can't even remember the last time I spoke to them. Were they still dating?

"Luna, can we call Ron and Hermione?" I proposed. "I haven't seen them in a long time."

"Sure," she answered and jumped off my lap. A moment later I heard the roaring of the fireplace and Luna explaining something. Then Ron and Hermione ran into the living room.  
"What the bloody hell happened to you mate?" Ron exclaimed.

"Oh my god, Harry. I missed you so much, what happened?" Hermione ranted.

"Just calm down and I'll explain," I replied and told them everything that happened to me and why. Hermione was crying and Ron wrapped his arm around her, and Hermione reached out and sqeezed my hand. That was when I noticed the ring.

I picked up her hand and asked, "What is this?"

Hermione looked at Ron asking a silent question and Ron nodded in confirmation.

"We're engaged," Hermione confessed. That was when I lost it I was cursing myself and just about everyone and everything on earth.

Luna quickly ushered them out apologizing and saying that they could come back whenever they want. When she came back she held me and let me cry, scream, and vent.

"How could I not know my two best friends were engaged! Luna, how did I let that happen? Why did I let it happen? Luna…" eventually I drifted off to sleep.

When I woke up I was curled up in a ball with my head on her lap.

"Hey," she said quietly as I woke. "It's alright, it's going to be okay. Believe me I know. They're not mad."

"I just can't believe it," I sniffed.

"Shh, it's okay."

"Why are you still here?" I asked.

"Because I love you," she answered.

"But why? What the hell is so special about me...I'm nothing."

"Harry Potter you are not nothing! I love you because you are sweet, funny, you never use your fame to your advantage, and you are so selfless." Luna explained. "And I wish you would stop thinking of yourself like you're nothing…if you were nothing I wouldn't be spending so much time helping you."

"So what do we do now?" I asked.

"We make you stronger," she stated.

For the next month she nursed me back to health. Slowly but surely I was able to walk without any help and feed myself. Sometimes I'll catch Luna looking at me while I'm walking and with each step her smile grows bigger.

She was so wonderful. I guess now we were officially dating. I felt bad though because I hadn't gotten the chance to take her on a real date. In fact I hadn't left her house since she saved me. I made up my mind to actually take her on a real date. Luna had gone out and gotten me some new clothes. I hadn't really looked through everything yet but I found something that at least made me look presentable.

I looked in the mirror. I didn't even recognize myself. I was still pale, but I didn't look sick. I gained some weight and was no longer dangerously thin. My eyes still had light bags under them and my eyes themselves had a sorrowful gaze that came with years of loss. I wore a clean dress shirt under a crisp, black vest with a thin red tie. Overall I looked handsome.

When Luna came home from shopping I was waiting in the kitchen with a red rose from her garden. "Luna, will you go on a date with me?" I asked feeling stupid but she relied with an eager yes and threw her arms around me. She ran upstairs to get ready while I waited.

If she was anything like Ginny it would take her at least two hours to get ready but to my surprise she came down in less than thirty minutes. She looked stunning. Her silvery hair hung around her shoulders in soft and shiny curls. Her dress was light blue and clung to her curved and flowed down to her knees but still continued in the back. She hardly wore any makeup and, as always, she proudly displayed her butter beer cork necklace.

"Wow," I said when she reached me.

"How do I look?" she asked flirtatiously.

"Beautiful," I answered taking her hand and apparated. We arrived at one of my favorite restaurants. It was Italian and had the most amazing fettuccini Alf redo I'd ever tasted.

After we were seated I just stared at her.

"What?" she asked.

"It's just I can't fathom how compassionate you are. You have had a tough life, but you didn't let it get to you like it did to me," I answered.

"At my mom's funeral they said so many nice things about her and I just hope that someday people will do the same for me, so my motives were kind of selfish but after a while I just realized how happy it would make others, so I started doing it for them instead of myself and that's a million times better."

"Luna, you're parent's would be so proud of you," I told her.

"Yours as well," she replied, and I saw her brush away a tear.

"So are you continuing the Quibbler or are you trying to get into something at the ministry?" I asked completely ruining the moment.

"I'm going to continue the Quibbler, what about you? Still thinking about becoming an auror?"

"I haven't thought about it in a while, but I'd still love to be an auror." Immediately after I said that the restaurant's doors bust open and the windows shattered. Luna ducked avoiding some glass, and I got out of our booth to see what happened.

That's when I saw them; Bellatrix Lestrange, Fenir Greyback, Draco Malfoy, and Pansy Parkinson. Did they know I was here? How did they escape Azkaban? I couldn't think about it now. Right now, I had to get Luna out of here.

Slowly, I slid back into the booth and whispered to Luna through my teeth. "Luna, grab onto my and be very quiet"

She nodded and did as I asked. Once her hand was on mine I apparated.


	3. Chapter 3

**Chapter Three**

**Disclaimer: Rated Teen+ for violence and language**

**I do not own any of the characters they all belong to J.K. Rowling**

**Thank you to all of you who have read this, subscribed to it, and favorite it. It means a lot to me so thank you so much!**

When we landed we were in the Ministry of Magic. I held Luna's hand as I stormed through the crowd to the new minister of magic. When I was outside his office door I realized I didn't even know who the new minister was. I turned to Luna and asked her.

"Kingsley Shacklebolt," she answered.

I burst inside his office and started to rant, "Why the fuck are there Death Eaters out? I thought they were in Azkaban! I thought you were supposed to fix the damn security there! What the hell have you been doing? This should not have happened!"

"Harry," he started.

"Don't you Harry me explain what the fuck is going on!" I demanded.

"Mr. Potter, we were aware that the Death Eaters escaped but did not want to worry the public. We contacted your residence, but no one was there," he explained.

I was just about to retort but Luna beat me to it, "Mr. Shacklebolt, I thought you were trying to not be like Fudge. Remember the last time a minister didn't inform the public of danger, Harry and many other students were tortured, teenagers including myself broke into the ministry and destroyed a lot of your property, Umbridge was nearly beaten to death by centaurs, and Sirius Black was murdered by one of the escapees! You have to fix this!"

"I apologize, I will inform the public as soon as possible, but until the criminals are apprehended I would recommend that the two of you go into hiding, and bring Mr. Weasley and Miss Granger with you," he instructed.

"Fine, but don't think for a second that I forgive you," I yelled and apparated back to Luna's house. I quickly started throwing supplies into enchanted backpacks, and Luna went to change.

"Are we really going to hide?" she asked when she came downstairs.

"We have to get away from here, I can't let them hurt you again," I replied, and we apparated.

"Harry!" exclaimed Hermione and she threw her arms around me.

"Is something wrong?" asked Ron when he saw me.

"We have to leave," I declared.

"What? Why?" Hermione asked.

"Some Death Eaters broke out of Azkaban and attacked Luna and me when we were out. When we alerted the ministry they recommend that we go into hiding and bring you with us," I explained.

"Are you sure this is the best way to go about this?" Hermione questioned.

"Yes, I'm tired of fighting for once I just want to run away," I replied with tears welling up in my eyes.

"Hermione?" Ron placed a hand of his fiancé's shoulder. "Do you still have your purse?"

He was referring to the enchanted purse she had when we were hunting horcruxes just a year ago.

"Yes," she answered and disappeared into the house.

"It's alright mate, I don't want to fight anymore either," Ron assured me by giving me a firm hug. Soon Hermione came back.

"Well where should we go?" she asked.

"There's a small cottage where my father and I hunted for crumple headed snorkaks, no one knows about it, it should be safe for a while," suggested Luna.

Surprisingly Ron was the first one to agree, "Alright then. Luna lead the way."

Luna held out her hand, and we apparated. The cabin was built out of grey stones with a thatch roof. It was in the middle of a forest, which was a shame considering out nice it looked.

The inside of the house was just as beautiful as the outside. There was a brick fireplace and a couch that looked so inviting. Going in further there were two bedrooms with down comforters and pillows. It all looked so peaceful, which I found completely ironic considering we were hiding from psychopathic Death Eaters.

"So what do we do now?" Ron asked.

"We wait," I answered.

"Harry," Hermione called. "Can I see you for a minute?"

"Sure," I sighed knowing what she was going to say as soon as we were alone.

"Harry, don't you think you should be trying to stop them?" she scolded.

"Hermione," I said in the same reprimanding tone. "You saw what that war did to me before. I was going to kill myself! The last thing I should do is get into another war!"

"I'm sorry," she walked away, but I knew it wasn't over yet.

For the rest of the night we tried not to show how nervous we all were, but this just made everything awkward. After an awkward game of cards, we all went to bed.

"Luna," I nudged her and she turned over to face me.

"What?"

"Do you think I'm a coward?"

She leaned her elbow on the pillow to look me straight in the eye, "Listen I understand, if this is what Hermione said-"

"How do you know what she said to me?" I interrupted.

"It was obvious. Hermione always says things like that she's too narrow minded to understand anything that isn't in a book. You are no coward. You are the bravest man I know," she assured me. I kissed her and we fell asleep in her arms. I'll never forget how good those soft, pale arms felt against my cold, scarred ones.


	4. Chapter 4

Chapter Four

**Disclaimer: Rated Teen+ for violence and language**

**I do not own any of the characters they all belong to J.K. Rowling**

**Special thanks to MapleTreeway (which is one of my favorite tracks on Mario Kart) who gave me some ideas to get rid of my writers black and to Yoshi119 (Yoshi is one of my favorite characters in Mario Kart) who alerted me to my terrible grammar. (in no way am I promising that it's going to get better. I'm way too lazy to spend a lot of time on it I know terrible excuse, but enough about me let's get back to Luna and Harry)**

I woke up alone. My first thought was that the Death Eaters had taken Luna. I threw up the covers and ran out into the house.

Brandishing my wand I screamed, "Luna!"

"Yes," he voice came from behind me and I threw my arms around her.

"I thought they got you," I whispered into her ear.

"What the bloody hell is going on?" asked Ron as he walked onto the scene.

"Harry thought the Death Eaters had taken me," Luna stated.

"So no concern for me and 'Mione," he said sarcastically.

"Sorry," I apologized.

"Well, I made breakfast so let's eat," Luna skipped off into the kitchen. I laughed, I actually laughed. She was the only person in ages that could make me laugh.

I walked into the kitchen and was greeted with the delicious smell of bacon, eggs, and maple syrup. It made my mouth water.

"Hey Hermione," I yawned as she walked in.

"Good morning," he greeted. "Smells delicious, Luna."

"I know," she answered and Ron started to laugh but choked on his eggs.

"Okay, so what's going on between you two," Hermione asked when she sat down.

"Wait! There's something going on between you two?" Ron gasped.

"Honestly Ron, how could you be so blind?" Hermione sighed.

"Well, we went on our first date when the Death Eaters attacked us, but we've been together for about a month," replied Luna.

"Really?" Ron asked. "Never in a million years would I have ever thought that you two would begin together."

"Ronald!" screamed Hermione.

"Sorry guys…congratulations," he muttered and turn all of his attention to his food

"I think that it's adorable," Hermione assured us. I knew it would be like this. It made me feel content; knowing that I could always count on things to be like this. I was starting to appreciate the little things like this; Ron being shocked at my personal life, and American breakfast once a week. Little things.

For a moment I wished that we could never leave. I know it was an awful thought, but I finally felt safe and content. For once I felt that I would never have to do anything, I could hide away from the world and that everything would go on without me. For a moment I forgot about the Death Eaters and all of the pain I'd endured.

I didn't want to remember all of my problems, so I decided to make the most out of it. For absolutely no reason I kissed Luna. The rest of the day was positively amazing. We played old board games, watched stupid movies, and we even baked cookies. We felt so immature, but I had to grow up really fast so whenever I could feel like a child I did.

That night I was lying in bed with Luna and she said, "I have never seen you so happy."

"I just thought that if I had the chance to just be happy I should go for it," I explained.

"It was really nice to see you smile again," she replied.

"I smile because of you," I admitted.

"That is so cheesy," she laughed.

"I know," I confessed. "But it's true."

"Come here," I opened my arms and she cuddled against me.

When I woke up and everything was the same as it was before.

"Good morning," I said as Luna looked up at me.

"Good morning Harry Potter," she replied. This was how things were for another month. Ron eventually accepted the fact that I was serious about Luna, but I would still catch him sometimes laughing at us. All of us were getting more fidgety with every hour. We had watched every movie we had at least three times and even when making new rules to old games we couldn't make them remotely entertaining.

Every day our hopes of going home were crushed when the Daily Prophet came announcing that the Death Eaters were still on the run.

On our forty-third day in hiding Ron finally lost it.

"I can't take this anymore!" he screamed. "Why can't the ministry do anything right? We shouldn't have to do this! I should be married! Fuck this! I should be home from our honeymoon by now! I can't stay in these four little rooms anymore!"

Ron's tantrum was immediately followed by mine, "What do you think we should do? You said that you didn't want to fight! Do you want to try and find them ourselves? Do you want to put Hermione in danger? I don't want to put Luna or myself in danger but if you want to get yourself fucking killed! You wouldn't last one day out there without me!"

"Are you kidding me? I would be better off without you! And I wouldn't give a shit if Luna! In fact we all would be better off if you had killed yourself!" he raged.

I attacked him and he fought right back. We were kicking, punching, and beating the living shit out of each other.

"What is wrong with you two?" yelled Hermione when she saw us, and we didn't even hear her. Then she tried to physically separate us. As she was prying my hand away from Ron's face I punched her. I punched one of my best friends.

We all stared at each other completely shocked at what I had done. I couldn't even conceive it myself. I ran out of the house for the first time. I ran for what felt like hours into the snow. I eventually collapsed beside a tree and sobbed. I completely forgot about Luna and all of the time we spent together. All I could think about was that I had gotten into a full out brawl with my best friend and punched his fiancé.

I screamed, yelled and cried. I hit trees out of frustration. When I had spent all of my energy I kneeled on the snowy ground and buried my head in my hands. I sat there for ages not caring if anyone came for me. I wouldn't even have cared if the Death Eaters had killed me.

"Harry," a sweet voice said from behind me. _Luna _I thought. I had completely forgotten about her. At the sound of her voice all of my memories about her came flooding back. I got up and embraced her, crying into her silky hair.

"I'm so sorry," I continued to sob.

"It's okay," she soothed.

"No it's not I completely lost it. I hit them…I hit them."

"Harry, we're all stressed. It wasn't just you," she tried to explain.

"But I hit Hermione, she was trying to stop us and I hit her."

"Listen, Hermione will forgive you," she assured me. "No matter how annoying she can be she loves you. She will forgive you."

"No she won't," I whimpered like a child.

"I know Hermione, she'll yell at you, but she will forgive you," Luna replied. We stood there for a while, just holding her. She was warm despite how cold it was, and I was shivering.

"Oh, how sweet," voiced someone. "Wittle baby Potter has a wittle bitty girlfriend."

I spun around and saw Bellatrix Lestrange smiling with that same evil grin I remembered from when she murdered Sirius. Protectively, I stood in front of Luna and threatened Bellatrix, "Don't you dare touch her!"

"Can't promise that Potter," spat another familiar voice.

"Malfoy you lay a hand on her I will kill you," I screamed.

"Oh we intend to. What would you say to this Potter? How about we torture her while you watch?" Draco proposed.

"You will never," I demanded.

"Your little whore won't last ten minutes with us," he retorted.

"You bastard!" I shouted. "Stupefy!" Spells flew out from every direction. Luna was battling Bellatrix with a ferocity that I had never witnessed. Draco had a look of pure hatred in his eyes.

"I saved your life once," I said through clenched teeth. "Don't ever think that I'll do it again."

"It's not my life that will need saving, Potter," he growled.

"Let's see about that." I knocked him to the ground and stomped on his shoulder. He yelped in pain. I pressed down harder until I saw blood stain the snow. Draco was whimpering like the weasel he was.

I looked up for one second and saw Bellatrix draw out a dagger and try to stab Luna in the heart. I forgot all about Draco and started to pull Luna out of the way. Just as I thought she was safe the dragger was driven into Luna's shoulder. I cursed and screamed at Bellatrix. With one last smile Bellatrix gabbed Draco and was gone.


	5. Chapter 5

**Chapter Five**

**Disclaimer: Rated Teen+ for violence and language**

**I do not own any of the characters they all belong to J.K. Rowling**

**I know it took me a long time to get this chapter out, but I was extremely busy this week preparing for a show. (it went great if anyone gives a shit) I'll try to get back into my habit of posting every week or so. Thank you to all of you who have followed this story, favorited it, and reviewed it. I really appreciate all of your support! I would also like to thank my father who always told me about how much he loved the bed and breakfasts in England…I finally have a use for that knowledge. Oh and I finally have ideas for more chapters!**

I held Luna in my arms as I ran back to the cottage. I ripped in the door as Hermione started to scream at me.

"Hermione we don't have time to yell at each other!" I shouted back at her. I went into my bedroom and gently laid Luna down. I ripped her shirt so that her wound was visible. It was much deeper than I had thought, and her blood was starting to ooze onto the sheet. With my extremely limited medical knowledge I pushed my hands onto her shoulder to try to stem the bleeding

"What the bloody hell is going on, Harry?" Ron demanded as he and Hermione burst into the room.

"The Death Eaters found Luna and me. Long story short I'm okay but Luna got stabbed," I quickly explained.

"I'm so sorry Harry," Hermione started to sympathize but I cut her off.

"I don't need you to be sorry," I replied. "I need you to help me!"

Hermione ran out of the room, and when she came back she was holding a wet wash cloth and at least five tiny bottles. She tentatively pulled my hands away and gently started to dab the wound. I continuously held Luna's hand whispering that everything was going to be okay.

After Hermione had finished tending Luna's laceration she wrapped a bandage around it tightly. She then squeezed my hand and left me.

At that moment I realized that this is how Luna must have felt when she was taking care of me. Waiting for her to wake up and tell me she was alright. Waiting for her to wake up and tell me she loved me.

I knew that this would happen eventually, we'd get caught, that someone would get hurt. It should have been me. She did nothing to deserve this. It should have been me. I deserved it; I deserved to be in pain, not Luna…never Luna.

Eventually, I drifted to sleep. In the morning Luna groaned and I bolted up.

"Are you alright?" I asked.

"I'll survive," she stated and looked at her bandage. "Did you do that?"

"No, Hermione did. You're right, no matter how annoying she is she always comes through," I joked.

"You saved me," Luna whispered and with her good arm pulled me into a kiss.

"I wasn't quick enough, if I had gotten to you sooner you would've been completely unharmed," I countered.

"Harry, if you hadn't done that I wouldn't be here. I will not let you think this is your fault," she scolded. We locked eyes and we both knew what the other was thinking.

"We can't stay here any longer," I said aloud.

"I know," she agreed. For a moment I sat there looking into my eyes. She and I were so similar but so different. We were both orphan's. We both experienced more than our fair share of pain and loss. I let it destroy me, and it made her stronger.

I gave her hand a squeeze and went to see what Hermione and Ron wanted to do next. They were sitting at the kitchen table looking at their intertwined fingers. I coughed to alert them of my presence. They looked me in the eye and it sent a pang of guilt through. I had given them so much shit and they still stayed with me.

"I'm sorry," I said.

"So am I, mate," Ron gave me a strained smile that made me laugh.

"We have to leave," I told them. "I have no idea of where to go."

"I do," Hermione replied. "I used to live in Devon. There was an abandoned bed and breakfast not too far from our old house. I would sneak in there and go exploring. It might still be there."

"Well, it's more than anything else we have," I stated. "I'll get Luna."

When we were all ready we stood in the snow in front of the cottage we had loved and grown to hate. Joining hands we closed our eyes and relaxed as Hermione lead us to our next hideout.

I opened my eyes and we were standing on a hill overlooking a small town filled with small houses. It was quaint and peaceful. Behind us was a two floor house with dusty windows and dead vines the seemed to be crawling up the stone walls.

"Is this place safe?" Ron asked.

"I think it just needs some cleaning," she answered.

"Some? It looks even worse than Grimmauld Place," I retorted.

"There shouldn't be any magical beasts in there, so it will easier to clean than Grimmauld," she assured us. After Ron pushed the stubborn door open we walked in to begin our inspection. Even though the place was crawling with spiders and dust, Hermione was right, there were no magical creatures. All of us were too tired to begin the difficult cleaning, so Hermione cast some cleaning charms into two of the bedrooms and we went to bed.

The next two days were spent cleaning. I insisted that Luna stay in bed even though she swore that she would be fine. It was only when Hermione, who revealed that she had been training to get a job at St. Mungos, ordered her to rest that she finally let it go.

I was on constant alert that the Death Eaters would find us. I would jump at the slightest noise. It got to the point where I was so nervous that I wouldn't let myself sleep, even after we set up a night watch rotation.

"They will catch them Harry," Luna told me one night.

"What?"

"The Ministry, they will catch the Death Eaters. This won't last forever," she assured me.

"How can you be sure?" I inquired.

"Because bad things don't last forever. Nothing does really. Bad and good times come and go, so eventually something good will come along," she explained. It was such a Luna thing to say. How could she always see things so logically, she never just focuses on the now. She always can look to the future and see hope.

A week later we were sitting around the old stone fireplace when Ron said, "I think it's Christmas."

"Is it?" Luna asked.

"I think so," he stated again.

"Well, Happy Christmas then," I pronounced. It occurred to me that for the past three years I hadn't had a real Christmas. A year ago I was depressed and over half of the time didn't even know what day of the week it was. Two years ago I was on the run and visiting my parent's grave for the first time.

After thinking about this I realized that Death Eaters had taken everything from me. In that moment I changed my mind. I didn't want to sit around anymore. I didn't want to run away now. I wanted to fight. Luna was right, things change. And I was ready to help change along.

"We have to fight," I pronounced.

"What?" Hermione questioned.

"We have to find the Death Eaters," I declared.


	6. Chapter 6

**Chapter Six**

**Disclaimer: Rated Teen+ for violence and language**

**I do not own any of the characters they all belong to J.K. Rowling**

**THANK YOU EVERYONE! I know I've said it before, but you guys are the reason I'm still writing this. Thank you for putting up with my terrible grammar, spelling mistaeks (pun-intended), awkward transitions, long intros, my terrible fucking language, and more. Special thanks to MapleTreeway again for reassuring me that I made the right choice by having Harry decide to fight! Enjoy! I now have an instagram where I have posted photos to go along with the story. If you want to check it out my user name is zombielollipop321. Don't ask.**

"Are you sure Harry?" asked Hermione.

"Yes, you don't have to join me, but, and not to be cocky, but has the Ministry ever done anything right without us?" I stated.

"True," Ron agreed. "But what are we going to do? We don't even know where they are."

"We don't have to," Luna said like it was obvious.

"What do you mean?" I inquired.

"Well, they found us before. Realistically, they will find us again. We wait until then," explained Luna.

"But that could take months," Ron complained.

"Not necessarily," Hermione interjected. "It's not a coincidence that they found us before. They must have found out that Luna had stayed there with her father and that's why they looked for us there. The Death Eaters will find out that I used to live near here and check it out. That will be easier than what they did to find the cottage."

"So it's agreed, we wait," I declared.

As it turned out, Hermione was right. We only had to wait two weeks until the escapees paid us a visit. Unlike the last time we were prepared.

We had just finished eating dinner when we heard them. They were arguing quietly outside. Hermione and Ron got up and went to the back door, while Luna and I walked outside.

"If you're going to sneak up on us you're going to have to be a hell of a lot quieter," I taunted as Luna and I approached them.

"You shouldn't be so cocky Potter," scolded Draco.

"Like you should talk," I retorted.

"Enough talk! Get him!" screamed Pansy. Just then Ron and Hermione burst out the back door and the fight began. I was dueling Pansy, while Luna and Hermione fought Bellatrix, and Ron battling Malfoy. Eventually, I got Pansy in a head lock with my wand pressed against her neck.

"One more curse from either of you and she dies!" I threatened Bellatrix and Malfoy. I was shocked when Bellatrix lowered her wand.

"You don't seriously believe him?" Draco asked Bellatrix.

"Draco, will you never learn," she began and with incredible speed grabbed him and Luna. "I don't believe anyone."

She apparated. In a moment of insanity, I forced Pansy to the ground and stared kicking her. "Where the fuck are they taking Luna?"

Nothing.

I kicked harder.

Nothing.

"You bitch! You fucking bitch!" I shrieked.

"Harry James Potter!" Hermione pulled me back and Ron took Pansy. Hermione held me and let me cry.

"They took Luna," I sobbed.

"We will get her back, Harry," she assured me. "I promise."

She held me until I was done crying. I knew what would happen to Luna. She would be tortured and killed. There was part of me that prayed that she would be kiiled right away and spared the brutal pain that would otherwise be inflicted on her, but the other part silently urged her to fight back, to be strong, and to withstand the torture until I got her back. _I will get you back, _I promised her. Even though she was probably thousands of miles away I will get her back. When we went back inside Ron had Pansy tied to a chair.

"So what do we do with her?" asked Ron.

"Take her back to the dementors," Hermione answered. I looked at Pansy, tied to the chair. Helpless. And I felt…nothing. I wasn't angry, I wasn't sad. I felt empty. Luna meant everything to me. Shouldn't I be boiling with hatred?

The more I thought about it the more I realized that Luna was a part of me. She was the part of me that made me feel alive. Part of me was missing, and I didn't just want it back, I needed it back.

We arrived at the ministry and were greeted by five aurors. They led us down the dark hallways to the auror department. The aurors strapped Pansy into cold metal chair and had the three of us tell what happened.

I sat with my head in my hand. I was thinking of all the times Luna and I spent together. The times she made me laugh, smile, and feel whole. The stupid movies we watch while wrapped in each other's arms. The times I fell asleep with her. All gone.

I would get Luna back. I had to. I had lost so many people but Luna was not going to be one of them.

"What do we do now?" I asked when they took Pansy away.

"It's obvious that our suggestion that you go into hiding didn't work," the auror began.

"Are you kidding me?!" Hermione exclaimed. "Luna was kidnapped! You need to do something huge to get her back! They will torture and kill her if you don't do something soon!"

"We are planning to. But first, you three have a choice. You can be put in protective custody until the escapees are apprehended, or you can help us find them," he explained.

"We'll help you," I agreed. "But you have to let us do things our own way. The way the ministry has handled this ordeal has made me lose the little hope I had left in it. You have to listen to us and take our advice. Do we have a deal?"

"Agreed," and he shook my hand. With the deal made we went back to Hermione and Ron's place.

"It's really nice," I commented after Ron gave me a tour.

"Hermione loved it, she said it reminded her of her old home," Ron replied. "There's an extra bedroom down the hall. You can stay there if you like. I thought you might not want to go back to Luna's."

"Thanks mate." The rest of the day was spent researching old Death Eater hideouts, homes, and the Death Eaters themselves. There were officially seven Death Eaters on the lamb; Bellatrix Lestrange, Fenir Greyback, Alecto and Amycus Carrow, and Draco, Narcissa, and Lucius Malfoy.

"Do you think they took her to Malfoy Manor?" Ron suggested.

"No, too obvious. They're smarter than that," Hermione replied.

"What about this," I showed them a newspaper clipping from twenty years ago.

"_'After the closure of Folman Wizarding Prison all inmates have been transferred to the newly built Azkaban Prison. This new prison will be guarded by dementors. Controversy over the new guards is rising among the ministry. Here to comment are the previous chief wardens of Folman Prison, Alecto and Amyus Carrow…'_" Hermione read. "You think they could be hiding in the old prison?"

"They were the old wardens so they probably know everything about the place and they would have access to it. It's been abandoned ever since it closed so it's a definite possibility," I explained.

"You have a point, but how are we going to get in?" Hermione asked.

"What do you mean? Can't we just apparate?"

"You can't apparate inside or out of the prison," she informed us.

"But it was abandoned," I commented. "Wouldn't the charm be lifted?"

"Did you sleep through every History of Magic lesson we ever had?" she queried.

"Pretty much," Ron retorted.

"Binns told us that the charms they place on wizarding prisons are permanent. Not like Hogwarts, there the headmaster can lift the no-apparation charms when he pleases. But in the prisons, even if you were the caster, you can never lift them," she clarified.

"But what if the Carrows cast the charm, they might've cast a weaker charm," I challenged.

"Harry, the prison was established years before the Carrows were even born."

"So I take it we're going to prison," Ron concluded.


	7. Notice

**Hey guys, so I've been having trouble writing this story, I don't know why. I'm going to keep writing it, but it might be a while before I get a new chapter out. I want to give you the best writing that I can and I feel that I haven't been writing as well as I could lately. So please stick with the story, I'm not going to give up I just need some time to come up with new ideas and not the shitty ones that I've been writing lately.**


	8. Chapter 7

Chapter Seven

**Disclaimer: Rated Teen+ for violence and language**

**I do not own any of the characters they all belong to J.K. Rowling**

**Once again I would like to thank all of those who have reviewed, favorited, and followed. It's the only reason I'm still writing this, because I usually give up on everything that I write. **

**Okay this one is short, but I'm just starting to get back into the story and I've got some more ideas. Things in the future are going to be a little different than they were before, but I think it's for the best. And one last thing I would like to thank MapleTreway for being so supportive of my decision to take a breath. What you said is literally what made me determined to write again. So thank you so freaking much! **

I lie in my empty bed. I haven't been alone in almost a year. Luna had always been right beside me, she was my rock. I needed her back more than I needed air. The Death Eaters took her on purpose. They knew that taking her from me would be even worse than torturing me. They played on my biggest weakness, I can't and won't leave anyone behind.

Where most people would consider that a good thing, it can make you weak. Where some people are only hurt by being directly tortured, I can be put through agony without even having to be touched.

I should have never listened to the ministry. If we had hunted them down from the start we would have caught them within a few weeks. Now almost a year has passed.

But tomorrow we will find them we will end them and they will pay. I will have Luna back. I will not let her suffer any more. If it is the last thing I ever do I will make sure that those Death Eaters never see the light of day again.


	9. Chapter 8

Chapter Eight

**Luna's POV**

**Disclaimer: I do not own Harry Potter**

**I have changed the rating to M because…well you'll just have to wait and see**

**I would like to apologize in advance for what I did in this chapter. You guys are really going to hate me, but I promise this will serve some purpose I promise. Just please don't come after me with pitchforks and torches. I also apologize for this being so short, and after I've kept you all waiting for so long it's even worse, but I've been busy! And I would also like to thank all of you for following, favoriting, and reviewing. I'd really appreciate it if you reviewed again!**

**LUNA'S POV: **I am shocked back into the living world with a bucket of freezing cold water. I shiver violently and can hear the chattering of my teeth. The Death Eaters have been doing this for days: Cruciatus Curse, whippings, the bucket of water. I'm barely hanging on anymore. I am drenched in water and my own blood.

I will not give in to them or Death. They want me to break, but I won't. I will not be broken by them. They're hatred isn't against me, it's Harry they want. They can mock me a beat me all they want but I won't give up on him. He'll find me; I have faith in him that he can pull through. All I have to do is wait until he finds me.

Crack! The whip breaks against my back and I let out a horse scream. The wet shreds of what was once my shirt hangs pathetically off me. Fresh blood trickles down my back.

"Ready to give in Loony?" taunts Draco.

"Never," I growl.

"Too bad," he clicks his tongue at me. "All you have to do is agree to join us and all of this is over. No more pain, we'll fix you up good and you'll be fine. It's that simple, besides you're a pure-blood aren't you Loony, maybe we could have some fun together."

As he says that last his hand travels up my leg and cups my crotch. I fight against my chains and scream, "Go to hell!"

He doesn't move his hand. I scream in protest as he tightens his grip on me.

"Once I'm finished with you, Potter won't want you anymore," Draco sneers.

"Liar," I snap. Harry would never abandon me, no matter what these bastards do. I fully believe this and will never give up hope on Harry. I remember that as Draco stands behind me and _touches_ me. I remember that as he kisses and bites at my neck. And I remember that as he pushes excruciatingly into me.


End file.
